Opening the Door

"OH MY GOSH. NO NO NO WHAT?! Running sucks! Yuck."

Oh that is just the average response I get from people when I tell them I love to run. 

But don't worry...that was my first thought, too, when I started. 

I didn't come into this world loving to run. 

That's silly, who would?

In fact, when I decided in high school to try it out...I hated it.

I couldn't make it half a block without the consideration of stopping,

 without finding my first side cramp, shin splint, headache, etc., 

without wondering..."is this really worth it?"

Because that's the real-life, daily question, right?

"Is it worth it?"

We really wouldn't feel obligated to do much of anything if that something wasn't worth it.

School

Work

Getting dressed up

Going to the gym

He

She

Church

It

Is _____ really worth it?

You fill in the blank.

Sometimes we are forced to do things (dishes...yuck)

Sometimes we have a choice.

Running was my choice

Not once did anyone ever tie me down, force tennis shoes on my feet and push me out the door

I wasn't even on a team.

I didn't have the coach yelling at me from the sidelines to "KEEP IT UP, KELLY!"

I am honestly shocked I never gave it up?

But have you heard of the saying..."It doesn't get easier, you just get better."?

Exactly. 

Running was, is, and always will be difficult. 

But when something is worth it, you work for it. 

And when youre work at something, it becomes more natural. 

"OH MY GOSH. NO NO WHAT?! Christians suck. Yuck." 

Okay i've never gotten that specific response, but you get the point.

Just like running, my relationship with Jesus has always been a choice.

I was not born loving Him

However, I was born TO love Him

In fact, He created all of us to love Him...

He puts in us (whether we know it or not) a deep, longing desire to love him.

But He also made us with a certain free will...

And it is because of this "free will" that we fill that "deep, longing desire" with everything but Him.

Money, clothes, our job, our grades, that boy, the gym, etc.  

God has given us a choice 

And during the time we are deciding, "Is God really worth it?" or "Is that $200 purse really worth it?"

By our door, he waits

He knocks

He stands

He waits

It is our choice to open it.

It took me 18 or so years to fully open my life to The Lord.

I think I cracked it occasionally.

I think I pretended I had it open for awhile.  

I think sometimes I even bolted it shut. 

At first, just like running, being a Christian felt exhausting.

I just couldn't live up to what I thought a Christian should be.

I lied

I drank

I cheated

I envied

I indulged

The list actually never ends...

You name it, I probably did it. 

You name it, I probably still do.

For a long time I wanted God
I didn't know I needed Him, but I wanted Him

However, I also wanted to get my act together before letting Him in.
I wanted to be worthy of Him
To be at least a little less sinful

I wanted to say, "The waters are fine now God, you can come on in!!"

Surprise, surprise, that's not how it works

It took all my faults, troubles, sins wrapped up in a big, gross mess of a life and 20 years later for me to finally figure it out.

To find my need for Him,

to actually love Him. 

To swing my door wide open and say, "Come on in Jesus Christ, the waters are awful and the time is now!"

And finding Him this way finally brought me rest

To truly love Him was to finally satisfy my soul

And guess what?

When your door is open,

when you pursue Him above all other things,

when life becomes less about you and more about Him,
Guess what I found out?

 That deep, longing feeling...

(that feeling you and I tried/failed to satisfy with money, food, boys, grades, clothes, drinks, people)

...yeah, it's finally fulfilled.

Crazy, right?

"For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."

-Matthew 16:25

CAUTION:

Running to Him in love isn't easy.

Sometimes I even try to close my door

But in time I've gotten better. 

And when I do...oh gosh...

I feel better

I love better

I listen, act, speak, appreciate, give thanks...all BETTER. 

I think I might even look better?

And life just feels...not good....better.